How to Deal with Negative People in your Life

You might understand the term ‘energy vampires’. These words can be used to describe the people you come across in life who make you feel like you’re getting the life sucked out of you! Perhaps they moan and complain incessantly, or they regularly put you down and discount your ideas. Maybe you can even feel the negative energy they let off in a room.

The good news is that there are ways that you can eliminate or at least limit the negative impact these people have on you. You are responsible for your own feelings and actions and there are ways to make sure they don’t pull you down with them. 

It’s important to realize that it’s easier to change yourself than it is to change someone else. Follow these strategies to help you remain positive when you’re around negative people.

Try to understand them

If you’re happy to allow someone to vent or complain in front of you, try to understand why they might be feeling this way. It’s probably because they’re unhappy with some aspect of their own life. If the energy vampire in question is someone who puts you down regularly or you feel is ‘out to get you’, know that they’re probably deeply aware of their own short comings and are taking it out on you. If you understand this it will be easier for you to avoid feeling bad about being personally attacked.

Be polite and move on

If you’re around someone who likes to complain a lot, avoid getting into a deep conversation about it, unless you want to hear all their woes. Nod, listen and show empathy if you choose to, but avoid getting deeply involved in their issue. Instead, politely excuse yourself from the room and try not to take baggage from the conversation with you. Keep interactions with these people to a minimum and if you must interact, keep it short.

Actively seek out positive people

When you have the choice, surround yourself with people that exude positive energy. This will help rub off on you, and will help balance out any negativity experienced with energy vampires in your life. If you find that you’re taking on negative emotions from energy vampires, speak with a coach, mentor or psychologist who can help you with strategies to avoid holding onto these emotions.

Manage your reactions

It’s much easier said than done to manage your reactions to toxic people. They may be intentionally putting you down to make themselves feel better. Usually they are looking for a reaction from you. If you get upset, angry, or constantly respond by defending yourself, chances are you’re ‘fueling the fire’. A reaction is probably exactly what they’re looking for, so they’ll keep at it. Find ways to remain neutral or uninterested in the drama they’re trying to create. Seek the help of a professional if you need help in managing your reactions.

Work on your own positivity and happiness

Regular, consistent personal development can go a long way. Listen to inspiring and uplifting podcasts, and attend events designed to help you grow as a person. Make sure you have time in your life to exercise, eat well, sleep well, and pursue the hobbies and things that you enjoy. If your ‘bucket’ is full, it will be a lot harder for energy vampires to have a negative effect on you.